Martha's Reflections on the Lake...

Life is hard, and then you die...

2009-03-07T13:05:00.001-08:00

I was thinking, and had some random thoughts. There is a quote that my brother-in-law has on his blog by Ian Mclaren, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle." I love that, because I get so caught up in my own little world--my own problems, stuggles, pain, etc. and forget that everyone around me also is struggling with something (or many things) at that very time. We're not called to try to compare our situation with anyone elses (in fact, we're told not to!!) So it shouldn't be--well, "I'm struggling more than that person", or "they just don't understand what I'm going through." We are called to "esteem others better than ourselves" to "have compassion, and make a difference", to "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus". Jesus didn't go around telling people how awful His life was or how horrible the things were that He was going to have to put up with.

The fact is--is that life is hard!! No one has an "easy" life. For a believer, though, we have something to look forward to!! This life is hard, yes, butthink of the life to come!! How wonderful that life will be! For the unbeliever, however, they have hardships in this life, but will not have a wonderful life to come. They have eternal torment ahead of them. So a few things--1.) Why do we (I) as believers act like we are in despair all the time, when we have so much to live for and look forward to 2.) Why do we not have an urgency to share with others the hope that we have. I'm not saying that you should never cry, never struggle, never wrestle with things or be down. I'm writing this because the Lord has used His Word to bring things back into perspective for me.

I've been skipping around in my devotions, but in the last few days, I keep being drawn back to Philippians. It's a great book to get back to a proper perspective on life. 1.) Who is Christ 2.) Who are we in Christ 3.) How should we live with that knowledge and in light of eternity?

Streams in the Desert....

2009-02-17T17:50:00.001-08:00

A few months ago, my mom picked up the 1925 edition of the book Streams in the Desert for me. It's a very recongnizable title, but I especially appreciate the older version for the language. It has been such an encouragement to me in my many days of both enjoyment and struggle in the working world.

A thought occurred to me not too long ago, and the more I thought about it, the more I see it's true. Northland is really an artificial environment. The world is not like Northland--it's not friendly and ready to assist you in the struggles of life. Northland is an amazing place--and a great start for someone going into ministry, or someone just desiring to have a deeper walk with the Lord. It doesn't take long to get frustrated, annoyed, and just worn out working in a secular environment if you expect it to be like Northland. :)

I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Olson speak at my church this past week--he said this phrase, "Life is hard, and then you die." It sounds pessimist and harsh. However, life is hard. You know, though--I was reading a few weeks ago about heaven--if our life here on earth were perfect and painless, why would we look forward to heaven??

I'm so thankful that our Heavenly Father allows struggles in life to purify us, to grow us, and to give us a longing and desire to be with Him in a place with the absence of tears or pain.

As thankful as I am for Northland--the people, the focus, the classes, and countless other things--I'm almost completely resigned to the fact that I will not be returning there as a student. The Lord has provided, and I am able to pay off what little school bill I have remaining from last year--however I've committed to not going into debt again for school. So...either I'll go back in 3 years or so (after saving vehemently :) or I shall continue in my present course of working and saving for the future. I know God will direct, and until He leads me somewhere else, I shall endeavor to be the best bank teller I can be! :)

Jesus, what a friend for sinners...

2008-10-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

Jesus! what a Friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole.

Hallelujah! what a Savior!
Hallelujah! what a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

I'm back!!! :)

2008-10-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

I am writing from the basement of the JEC at Northland. I can't believe I'm here!! I'm here for three whole days!!

It's just been in the last week or so that I've really had peace about not being back at Northland. I am so thankful for the things that the Lord has been teaching me. The two main places I've been learning the most are work and in the jail (my Sunday / Wednesday ministry :) If I were at school this year, I would not be able to be as heavily involved with the jail, or my job ;) I am so thankful that God's thoughts are not my thoughts--His are so much higher and greater than mine.

So, here I am, visiting friends, resting, reading, and spending some extra time in God's Word. This has been a most relaxing and refreshing visit already, and I know that it will continue to be a profitable time.

God's Work

2008-09-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

This Sunday was an extremely hard one for me. It was the first time that I saw the extension team back at my church from Northland. I was so discouraged because I want to be where they are. I want to be going to school, but I'm not. I cried for a little while--then I remembered a little motto that I've kinda been holding on to for a while--Most problems in the life of a believer are due to a wrong view of who God is. So, I thought about the situation. Is God really good?? Why isn't He giving me what I want when I want it?? Do we ever verbalize these questions?? No, but how many times do we think them? Then I remembered something that I read in Psalms--I know the Lord is good. His plans are not always my plans--but you know what?? They're much better than my plans!! If I were back at school right now, I wouldn't have the new job that I have. I would not have been able to share my testimony or the gospel with these ladies that are in need of a Savior. God is teaching me--stretching me beyond my comfort level in many different areas of my life that I'd never be able to be stretched in if I were at school.

I was reminded not to long ago by a friend--"God can work outside of Northland." That was exactly what I needed to hear. God is the same God wherever I am--wherever I go or whatever changes occur in my life--He remains the same. He is not limited to a Bible college, church, home, work environment--His work is powerful and will be done despite my failings. I am so thankful that He uses weak vessles to carry such a marvelous message.

Who is my God??

2008-08-18T19:34:00.001-07:00

Again I am where I was at the beginning of the summer. I was sorry to leave Northland, sorry to say goodbye, but knowing that God had a plan for the summer, even though I had no clue what that plan would be. I am so thankful that God doesn't always reveal a few steps down the road, but just the next one that I need to take. I would never have thought at the beginning of the summer that I'd be where I was--learning a new job, working in the jail ministry, things that I could never have forseen, but I am so thankful that God's ways are so much higher and greater than mine. The last few days I've become discouraged thinking about not being able to go back to Northland in the fall. Hearing of everyone returning makes me wish that I was going back too. Then I stop and think--who is my God?? Does He not have a plan for me?? Is there not a reason why I'm not going back to Northland right away?? Just like He had a plan for this summer--He has a plan for the time that I have out of school--saving. I've been mulling over this thought in my mind for a while--many of the problems that we have in our lives as believers are of our own making, and they are because we have a wrong view of God. Complete trust doesn't mean hanging on to our own little "strongholds" we build--not even holding on with a pinky--it's letting go completely, because we know that the One who created us is the one who saved us and sustains us.

Jesus, I am resting, resting

2008-08-04T18:16:00.001-07:00

Just was thinking about this song--

Jesus I am resting, resting,
in the joy of what Thou art,
I am finding out the greatness
of Thy loving heart...

Today was my first day at a new job. I was so excited and a little nervous (as with most changes, there are always the "unknowns") I have learned so much already, and am eager to learn more.

I was just recalling the other day---the events of this summer. There have been many things going on, much to think about, decisions to make, and lots of time waiting. I am so amazed when I see how the Lord has provided again and again for my needs and even many of my wants. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was packing to return home from Northland, and then I think of all the things that have happened--whew!!! Time sure does fly!!

Tight rope ride...

2008-07-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

I found this illustration just today, and thought it was great! It goes along with my last post on the life of faith--

"If you have watched a man a hundred times ride a bicycle across the Grand Canyon on a tight rope as he carries people on his shoulders one-at-a-time safely to the other side, you probably admit that you "believe" he could carry you safely across too. You may hope he'll never ask you to go with him, but if one day he does look YOU in the eye and calls YOU by name to ride on his shoulders across that huge canyon would you do it?

Did he call your bluff? If your "belief" is only in your head, you would decline the offer! But if you really believed in him, then you would not hesitate to go across with him. The proof of your belief will be in your willingness to follow Him in obedience because true BELIEF determines what your ACTIONS will be."

Living by faith...

2008-07-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

This summer the Lord has been stretching and growing me in ways that I never could've forseen, but am thankful for. He's been showing me what it is to trust in Him--because I know who God is, I can fully trust and rest knowing that He will provide, protect, and grow me according to His will and timing. A word that goes along with trust, though, is faith.

With the jail ministry that I'm involved in, there is a program that I use from time to time called Set Free. It goes through the gospel in every lesson, and it talks about being set free from addictive behaviors, attitudes, and substances. It has been so amazing to be able to share the gospel with these ladies every time I meet with them--many of them who have never touched a Bible in their lives and have only heard the name of God mentioned as a curse word. A few weeks ago, part of the lesson was on faith. What is faith?? They said believing in something you can't see. For many years I've thought the same thing, and yes, that is part of it--but not all of it. Faith is not just knowing something, but acting upon it. Because I have full confidence and belief in a thing, I will act upon that belief--I will do things that I perhaps never would have done before, because I'm believing in Something (or Someone) that is bigger than I. Someone that is to be trusted because He keeps His promises and will never forsake His own--He is perfect and is not willing that any should perish. Every time I go into the jail to minister and witness of who God is to these ladies, I am always astonished and amazed at what God teaches me. I've always thought about the phrase "living by faith" and wondered what it really meant. I have been catching just a glimpse, and am excited to learn more about what it means to live by faith.

Psalm 94:17-19

2008-07-08T19:34:00.000-07:00

Psalm 94:17-19

17Unless the Lord had been my help, I would soon have dwelt in [the land where there is] silence.

18When I said, My foot is slipping, Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, held me up.

19In the multitude of my [anxious] thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!

Praise to the Lord!!

2008-06-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

With the jail ministry I've been involved in--I've been going over with the ladies who God is. Not just to gain knowledge for knowledge sake, but to have a personal, thriving relationship with the God of the universe. The study has been so wonderful, and I have enjoyed it immensely!! One thing that we went over this past Wednesday is faith--faith is not just believing in something you can't see, but acting upon that belief. That is so amazing!! It's something that I know, and yet, phrased in that way, it was amazing--that is living by faith--living a life pleasing to the Lord, and when things come that don't make sense, resting(an action!:) in the fact of who God is.

"Praise to the Lord, who, when tempests their warfare are waging,Who, when the elements madly around thee are raging,Biddeth them cease, turneth their fury to peace,Whirlwinds and waters assuaging.

Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him! All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him. Let the Amen sound from His people again,Gladly for aye we adore Him."

Abide with me.....

2008-06-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

Wow!! It's been a while since I've had access to my blog--some crazy password thing was not allowing me to sign in. I think the posts I would've had would've gone back and forth from discouragement to excitement--thus has been the last month or so. :) I am so thankful that my God is the same yesterday, today, and will continue to be forever.

In the last month, I completed my first year at Northland (yea!!) and came home. The coming home part was very difficult--there's something about living at college--making big and small decisions, being put in tricky financial situations--being away from home. It was so hard to say goodbye to the friends that I made in those short months. The Lord really has blessed me with some amazing friends that truly desire and are actively pursuing a more intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father.

One thing that I kept (and keep!) coming back to is the whole issue of trust. Who is my God?? He has a plan for my life--difficulties don't mean He is sleeping, or ignoring me. He sees the bigger picture--He knows that difficulties now are preparing me for the future, whatever that may hold. I don't know, but He does, and that is very comforting to know. This really was the start to an amazing study I've been going through on who God is. God is my Father, Friend, Comforter, Guide, Refuge, Strength--the list goes on and on. Then I've been taking each of those things and naming what that specific title entails--Father=protector, provider and all the other things an earthly father is, except He does all those things even more perfectly than an earthly father could ever do(which is amazing to think about!)

One major thing that has been going on in the last month is the search for a job. :) I've been working a few hours at the coffee shop that I worked at before I came to school(Dew Hill's) and also have helped for a few days at my dads shop. At first I was very frustrated, because I kept being rejected by the places I went, but I was thankful that the Lord has given me a new perspective on this struggle. He has a purpose for the time that I've been looking for a job--it's been hard, because I have financial obligations, but He will provide.

When I came home from college, I prayed that the Lord would direct me to the specific ministry He wanted me to be involved in during the summer(or longer). I really thought I'd stay with teaching the 1-3 graders and had committed to that, but the Lord made it very clear that He had another plan for me. He gave me a burden to work with the ladies in the jail with the jail ministry. It has been by far the most stretching ministry I've ever been involved with. Every time I meet with the ladies, I'm able(and delighted!) to share the work of salvation that God has offered through His precious Son. Nearly every time there are new questions about salvation, and it has been so exciting.

I'll just end this post with a quote from the book Free Grace and Dying Love by Susannah Spurgeon--"No, rather, I should joyfully meet and welcome it,[hardship or difficulties], well knowing that Your love to me could only send a message of peace, however dark might be the envelope which enwrapped it."

I know the Lord is great...

2008-05-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been pretty crazy. So many things have been going on with school, finishing things up, preparing for exams and such. Then I was figuring some financial things out, and had some meetings and such, and have decided not to return to school in the fall due to finances. Then, I was considering my work options for the summer and the next year. Doors have been closing, and the Lord has been showing me His goodness, and the peace that comes from completely trusting and resting in Him. I've been reading through the Old Testament in my devotions, and am in Psalms right now. A verse really jumped out at me this morning--

Psalm 135:5: For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods.

God is great!! I am so thankful for who He is, His work, and am excited to see what He has for me in this next year.

Kids songs...

2008-04-22T17:53:00.001-07:00

I teach 1-3 graders every Wednesday night. I love to teach!! To ask them questions, and see their faces light up when they know the answers. Not everyone gets excited, obviously, but it's always encouraging when you see the light bulb go on, and you know they understand. During this time I've been learning a lot of kids songs for the first time--it's so great!! One such song is "Do Right"--That song is great!! :) Whenever you learn a new song, I think you tend to look at the words more than if you've known the song for years and years. So, I've been thinking about the song "He is Able". Often we sing the song with kids, and we don't even realize what we're singing. He IS able to carry me through--He HAS healed the broken hearted, He HAS set the captive free, He HAS made the lame to walk again, and He HAS caused the blind to see. Fun song, but GREAT message too, no matter how 'simple. ' :) I am amazed at who my God is, the more I see of Him, the more I am amazed. I know my Lord is able to carry me through any circumstance in life--not only just to carry me through the 'hard and trying times', but also to plan those times knowing that that is what's best for me. So although there are things in life that are difficult--whether physical, relational--whatever! There can and should be joy in knowing that God knows.

A verse I read today in my devotions is Psalm 37:3:
Trust, lean on, rely on and be confident in the Lord, and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.

The Love of God

2008-04-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Trust...Blessed Quietness...

2008-04-17T09:17:00.001-07:00

I was reading in my devotions this morning, and came across this verse. I have an amplified version that I use once and a while, and this is Psalm 5:11:

"But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits."

Again and again the Lord has been showing me that He is faithful, He is trustworthy. Trust can be a very tricky thing. It means not relying on myself, but in someone else. It is so amazing to know that the God of the universe, who knows all, sees the little details of my life, cares about me, and plans things for my good. Such a burden is lifted when I look at who my God is, and the fact that I don't need to worry about things He sends my way, because He already knows the beginning from the end. Praise God for who He is, and the peace He gives in trusting Him!!

Blessed quietness, holy quietness,
Blest assurance in my soul!
On the stormy sea Jesus speaks to me,
And the billows cease to roll

Grace

2008-04-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

I love music. I love the words, I love finding a song with a great tune. There are so many parts to music, it can convey so many different things. I'm thankful that God has given us music both to enjoy, and to give honor to Him. Whenever I am struggling, I try to find a verse of scripture, and also a song that I can have in my mind throughout the day. I heard this song a few years ago, and I memorized the words right away. Nothing comes into my life that God is not aware of. He not only allows things in my life, but plans them. No matter what I do, He is always willing to forgive me, He is always watching over me, and I can rest knowing that I am in His loving care.

"Lord as I seek Your guidance for the day, I find my thoughts unyielding confusion crowds my way. But then, when I bow to You, the challenges You guide me through, Your promises are ever new, I claim them for today. Your will cannot lead me where Your grace cannot keep me, Your hand will protect me, I rest in Your care. Your eyes will watch over me, Your love will forgive me, and when I am faltering, I still will find you there."

Oh Sacred Head, Now Wounded

2008-04-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up with this song stuck in my head. I had never actually heard the words to the song till I came to Northland, I just knew the tune. I opened my hymnal bright and early this morning, and began to think of all that this song says. It is so amazing to think of an infinite, holy God coming to earth for me. I loved the opening prayer time of the Day of Prayer last week when we got into groups and read passages about who God is, and who Christ is. Then we prayed through the verses that we had just read. Oh, that like this song says, I would never never out live my love to God, but increase in the knowledge and admiration of my heavenly, loving Father.

"What language shall I borrow
to thank Thee dearest friend
For this, Thy dying sorrow
thy pity without end
Oh make me Thine forever,
and should I fainting be
Lord,let me never, never
out live my love to Thee"

Random Quotes

2008-03-31T17:04:00.001-07:00

Recently I've been coming across some quotes, and thought they were pretty great--take a look:

E. Elliot-"Lord, give to me a quiet heart that does not ask to understand, but confident steps forward in the darkness, guided by Thy hand."

Shakespeare-"Love looks with the mind, not with the eyes..."

"You're always changing, either for the Lord, or for men."

"Anything that makes me desperate for God is good."

Bienaventurados....

2008-03-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Bienaventurados todos los que en el confian. Salmos 12:2c
I've been endeavoring to recover some Spanish that I've lost over the last few years. :) I've been memorizing this verse, Psalm 12:2c--Blessed are all those that put their trust in Him. This verse is amazing!! How many times in the day do I forget who I am in Christ, and who God is? When difficulties come, I immediately try to fix it--what can I do to make this better!!?? When God is drawing me to Himself saying, "I'm big enough for this problem--don't you believe that? Don't you trust me? I placed the stars in the heaven, I know when a sparrow falls, I know the very hairs on your head--don't you think I can handle this?" God is amazing! He continues to give me a fresh look at who He is

The Beauty of Spring!! :)

2008-03-25T16:28:00.001-07:00

For the Beauty of the Earth, for the glory of the skies...for the love which from our birth, over and around us lies...Lord of all to Thee we raise, this our hymn of grateful praise.

Keep on Keeping on!

2008-03-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

1Co 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be firm (steadfast), immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord [always being superior, excelling, doing more than enough in the service of the Lord], knowing and being continually aware that your labor in the Lord is not futile [it is never wasted or to no purpose].

Quiet Girl by Langston Hughes

2008-03-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs